Walking a mile in borrowed boots:

issues with how the military infrastructure handles it’s victims of sexual assault

03 November 2021  

“9 out of every 10 victims of rape are female veterans” (Duplantis). 

*Based on a study finalized in 2013. 

I once adorned a brand new pair of size eight ABU boots. The air battle uniform, including the boots, has since been retired. I had once hoped to follow in my father’s footsteps, who in his time served, outlasted the retirement of the battle dress uniform, and then graduated to the ABU. I however, due to the nature of my circumstance, fell short in longevity, and in obtaining a set of OCPs, the new Air Force uniform. My father, in his closet hangs a set of ABUs, sleeves heavy with the great burden of rank. My closet lay bare of any remnants of my time in service. My uniform carries the burden of memory, and serves as a reminder of my shortcomings. What I have left of my uniforms are stuffed in old storage boxes alongside High School yearbooks and baby pictures. In the years since my retirement I’ve often blamed only myself for what happened. I always thought the military did what it could to help me through my situation. But, just as I have learned through therapy that my parents, as loving as they may be, are to blame for many of my emotional developmental shortcomings, so the military is to blame for my career. Everything is 20/20 in hindsight.  

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a red letter on any Airman's ledger. It serves as a one-way ticket to retirement. This is something known in the military and thus avoided at any cost. Rape is also something no individual gets over with ease. When I fell victim to such tragedy I did my best to push it down and forget what happened. I tried, day and day again to avoid the topic and soldier on in my career. I found it harder to feel safe at work, and impossible to sleep in my bed, where it happened. I was paranoid that I would run into the man at any given moment. He knew where I lived and he was friends with everyone I knew. It wasn’t until my coworker caught me sleeping underneath a desk at work that I sought out help. It’s difficult knowing the moment you open your mouth; your career has ended. I grew tired of stretching myself to personal extremes in the name of keeping a job. I am just one of the countless examples of how the military has failed its victims of sexual assault.  

It’s not over, you have options 

One needs to consider many important factors when looking into the statistics of military sexual trauma. Sexual assault, both in the armed forces and in civilian life, is an under-reported crime “Criminal”.  Studies done on sexual assault by the Department of Defense don’t take into account crimes reported by service members, but committed outside of their jurisdiction. The information discussed in this essay does not include statistics offered by DoD on sexual assault committed against children by members of the armed forces and will focus on crimes committed against active-duty personnel. Personnel deployed on Top Secret missions are required to sign NDA’s that forbid them from discussing any information such as injuries that occurred during their deployment, this also extends to sexual assault and thus will not be included.  Individuals may also choose not to seek professional help out of fear of “damaging” their health records, or fear of becoming a social pariah. Even some individuals whom I had interviewed for this essay were wary of being named. Others felt strongly about the issue but refused to make official statements. Finally, due to the Coronavirus pandemic, the DoD has postponed its FY21 prevalence survey, hence “no reporting rate can be calculated this year” (Sexual, Department 5). With that said, it would be foolish of me to say the military has nothing to offer its victims.  

Help is available through an eclectic range of options. When seeking help, victims are first referred to SAPR (Sexual Assault Prevention and Response Office, known as SHARP in the Army), if they have not chosen to privately discuss matters with a therapist first. Again, therapy itself holds a lot of negative connotations in the armed forces.  Other victim assistance and advocacy resources include but aren’t limited to, continually credentialing and evaluating SAPR employees. Upholding the SAFE helpline, a 24/7 anonymous hotline for victims. Hosting training engagements for the SAFE helpline. Offering remote SAPR training options for victims that would be uncomfortable attending an in-person seminar. Continuously addressing SAPR stakeholder concerns by responding to specific requests. And allocating $35 million dollars to legal counsel for victims (Sexual, Appendix A 3-5). There is no doubt that the DoD has given MST victims plenty in the way of resources. But taking up less space in the DoD’s fiscal report is what is being done in the way of prevention. While I am pleased that so many resources are available for victims, I cannot help but think. Would all of them be necessary if the DoD weren’t failing to prevent MST from occurring in the first place? In the Below graph, it can be seen that MST reporting has increased 59.7% in the last ten years. It is apparent that something needs to change (Sexual, Appendix B 8). 

It won’t be me 

I always thought I was impervious to falling victim to rape. I was safe. I covered my drinks, I stayed in groups of friends, and I didn't mingle with strange men. In fact, on the night of the occurrence, I was surrounded by people I knew. And yet, here I am.  

Studies done on active duty personnel show that if an individual were to join active duty service today, they would have a 1 in 4 chance of experiencing sexual assault (Moyer).  But as previously discussed sexual assault is an under reported crime. Active duty personnel also have a number of varying factors that discourage reporting; take the .8% chance of prosecution for example (Sexual, Appendix B 26). A study done later, on Veterans after they have been discharged from service, and thus impervious to some of the discouraging factors, show that is actually closer to a 1 in 3 chance (Military).  

Of the 7,816 reports of sexual assault made in FY20 6,290 were made by active duty personnel, during their time in service. 4,517 were unrestricted reports and 1,773 were restricted. 65%, or 4,088, of assaults committed, was Service member subject, Service member victim crimes (Military). 

 It is commonly assumed that only women can fall prey to sexual assault, but of the reports made 19% of victims were male. It is also commonly assumed that only men are assaulters. This also proves false. 15% of the assaulters were female. (Sexual, Appendix B 30). “Although rates of MST are higher among women, because there are so many more men than women in the military, there are significant numbers of women and men seen in VA who have experienced MST” (Military). 

*Based on data from (Sexual, Appendix B 30). 

This study also shows that the lower the rank, and the younger the individual, the more likely assault becomes. (Sexual, Appendix B 33.)  

Did he lick his hand? 

Reporting an assault is harder than one would think. Victims have valid reasoning for being hesitant to come forward. Personally, I waited months before saying anything. When I finally decided to make an official report, the process was continually daunting. In the blur of the complicated process, the most vivid memory I have is the investigator asking me if my assaulter had licked his hand. I didn’t remember. Something about the investigator’s question disturbed me. If I had decided to report earlier, I honestly believe that question would have caused me to completely shut down. It’s nauseating to even now to think back on. “How did he get it in? He had to do something, did he lick his hand?” Reporting is hard. I have mixed feelings about regretting not reporting sooner. Because for as hard as it was, reporting sooner would have been so much harder.  

When one reports a sexual assault, the process differs based on the level of assault that occurred. Rape, specifically, has an exceptionally daunting reporting process. Photographing the victim's body, where bodily harm occurred, giving a detailed account of the event, and rape kits are part of that process.  Parts are completely optional, but as healthcare providers and law enforcement will say, crucial to the legal process. The process of reporting can also include investigators asking the reporter to call the perpetrator over the phone in an attempt to coax out a recorded confession. In the New York Times article, A Poison in the System the individual interviewed, Ms. Shmorgoner, recalled her experience as ‘“The hardest thing [she] ever had to do”’ (Moyer).  

Another intimidating factor that plays into discouraging reports is the .8% chance of the conviction of offenders. “After their attacks, victims also rarely see justice. Of the more than 6,200 sexual-assault reports made by United States service members in fiscal year 2020, only 50 — 0.8 percent — ended in sex-offense convictions under the Uniform Code of Military Justice, roughly one-third as many convictions as in 2019. It’s unclear why sexual-assault convictions have gone down, but it’s part of a much larger trend: Courts-martial dropped by 69 percent from 2007 to 2017, according to Military Times, perhaps because commanders are instead choosing administrative punishments, which are bureaucratically easier but also result in milder punishments for the perpetrators, such as deductions in rank or administrative discharges” (Moyer). 

You’re a survivor, not a victim 

It is very common for therapists to spout the “you’re not a victim, you’re a survivor” line to downcast MST patients. The line itself is intended to give patients a better outlook on their identity. If you don’t see yourself as a victim, perhaps you won’t feel like a victim. But in the military all survivors of MST are victims. Victims of a poorly handled system.  

DUI training and punishments hold more weight to the DoD than Sexual Assault and Harassment. I recall my father, retired CMSgt Byars, stating that rolling out trainings when something becomes problematic is a “knee jerk” reaction. These trainings are implemented quickly and sometimes sloppily as a way of “covering ass” to ensure that higher level commanders can say something is being done in interviews.  Others had similar outlooks on the system. In a personal interview with an anonymous veteran, and current military contractor, they stated,  

“Essentially, like all things training related, SAPR is an annual checkbox on a Squadron/Wing’s checklist. That being said, because it's seen as a requirement at the Air Force level, and not as an enlightening experience to provide knowledge and awareness, the program lacks substance. Every year that I went through SAPR, the program had changed names, and the presentations had an overall silly/fun vibe to them. The contractors they hired at [redacted for privacy] for these presentations were typically middle-aged older women that were acting like we were a group of kindergarten students learning how to tie shoes. All “fun” games and exercises and no serious connotations about the horror and reality of sexual abuse/ assault/ harassment in the armed forces. It was essentially, here's some statistics about how much it happens. Now let’s play a game and talk about it. No substance, no connection, no emotion. Between SARC, SAPR, Green Dot, and Red Dot, I can legitimately say I didn't retain any information that to me wasn’t common sense. There was no enlightenment that might open up eyes and make people second guess their actions. The whole program had no depth beyond being a yearly checkbox. Which is really fucking sad because we know it’s a fuckin’ problem, and our annual training ‘addressing it’ didn’t address anything… My whole feeling is that the Air Force doesn't actually see it as an issue even though they claim they do, because their whole program to address said issue addresses nothing. But thanks for the free pen I guess*” (Anonymous). *novelty items such as pens and stress balls are commonly handed out at these training sessions. 

In an interview for the New York Times Pfc. Florence Shmorgoner’s case never saw justice. “The rape investigation was closed in 2018, and Shmorgoner says her attacker was able to serve out his Marine contract and receive an honorable discharge... ‘My viewpoint of the Marine Corps really changed from then on, to it’s an institution that doesn’t really look after the people that comprise it,’ she recalls. ‘We’re not in the business of taking care of people — it seemed to me that we were in the business of using them’” (Moyer). It is horror stories like these that leave victims feeling hopeless. Pressing charges in an uphill battle, that some aren’t strong enough to press through alone. Myself included. While Ms. Smorgoner’s assailant has since separated from service, mine is still serving on active duty. The DoD continuously fumbles the ball on both ends of the sexual assault spectrum.  

MST survivors are suffering. Financial compensation is available for MST veterans who have been retired due to their trauma (Veterans). The process is lengthy and takes months to be approved, but it is available. This compensation does not make up for the loss of an occupation that offers benefits and income that cannot be matched by even the highest percentage of compensation offered, which equals $3,146.42 for single veterans a month (2021 Veteran). The highest percentage of disability is also very difficult to obtain and maintain. Personally, though my symptoms have been stagnant since my separation, my service connected disability percentage for MST PTSD has decreased 20%, from 70% to 50%. The money is all but useless. Any dollar value placed on the things I lost could never truly compensate me. I would imagine that many other veterans with MST would agree.  

MST victims are more likely to experience depression, suicidal ideations, pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, substance abuse, hardships in interpersonal relationships, and homelessness. When it comes to homelessness, “Veterans with an MST history are over twice as likely to experience [it]” (Duplantis). Veterans that experience MST are two times more likely to develop an eating disorder (U.S.). “In addition, those who identified military sexual trauma as the source of their PTSD were at least three times as likely to have suicidal thoughts as those who said their PTSD was specifically related to combat or deployment” (U.S.). 

A change is coming 

Currently, the execution of punishment for convicted service member assaulters lies in the hands of commanding officers. As previously stated this frequently ends in lessened punishment. President Joe Biden has proposed a plan to remove the jurisdiction process from the hands of commanding officers. 70 senators have Biden’s supporting vote, but currently no change has been enacted (Steinhauer). 

Yes, Means Yes 

In the years after my assault, I blamed only myself. I got a little too drunk, but who doesn’t drink a little too much on their 21st birthday? I gave him a little too much attention, but I never wanted to be rude. I opened my bedroom door, but he claimed he had nowhere else to go. It’s a tricky thing, consent. But only if one is not properly educated. If I had received proper education on consent, maybe I would have seen things for what they were before reporting became increasingly difficult. If he had received proper education, perhaps he would have made a different choice that night.  

Our educational trainings back then were “no means no” and “one and done.” Through personal interviews and research on prevention trainings, it is my understanding that this is still how consent is taught. Both of those rules are problematic.  

The one and done rule refers to the sentiment that, if someone has had even one sip of alcohol, they cannot consent. That black and white thinking is what makes it troublesome. Yes, when alcohol is involved, the lines of consent are blurred and the DoD intends to cover their bases by setting a hard and easy rule. While it is a good rule of thumb for sober individuals dealing with other individuals under the influence, realistically, active duty personnel and civilians are actively and enthusiastically participating in sexual acts when alcohol is involved. People go to bars to meet each other, and hookup culture is flooded with inebriated sexual actions. When the apparent truth vastly different from the rule, it sets the precedent that the rules are made to be broken. Why take it seriously? This is where reform of the “no means no” rule comes into play.  

“Yes means yes” otherwise known as affirmative consent, is a simplified version of the idea that until one hears affirmative, enthusiastic consent, or a yes, one does not engage in sexual activities. Individual states and college campuses seem to be doing more in the way of revising consent than the DoD. “The currently stalled Nebraska bill is rooted in a principle called affirmative consent, which goes beyond ‘no means no’ to define consent as ‘a knowing and voluntary agreement, freely given, to engage in sexual contact or sexual penetration.’ Affirmative consent is also called ‘yes means yes.’ Antioch College in Ohio pioneered affirmative consent in 1991 to combat date rape on campus. The small school issued guidelines advising students to obtain consent during each stage of a sexual interaction. Some states, including New York and California, have passed laws mandating yes means yes standards on college campuses in response to studies reporting the prevalence of sexual assault in student populations” (Rose). While policies and laws are certainly more difficult to enact on a federal level versus a state level, it is a marvel as to why a proposed bill or UCMJ revision on consent has yet to happen.  

The woman makes the uniform 

The female population of service members is growing. Women currently make up 14.4% of active duty personnel but are 28% more likely than men to separate from service early (U.S.) They are a finite source that are being treated as disposable. The boots I laced had an expiration date, I was walking on borrowed time. While I thought they would be my companion until they were too ragged to wear, I was forced to retire them before their aglets had frayed. My career, like too many others, was cut short under the illusion of choice. It was a personal “choice” to come forward but when your options are to retire or suffer in silence, it's hard to stay objective. The military is not a job, it's a way of life. Being a service member quickly becomes entangled with one's sense of identity. Coming forward and losing one's place in service is a death sentence of sorts. One is left, forced to mourn themselves and deal with life-changing tragedy.  

The annual fiscal reports on the nature of sexual assault in the armed forces are thick with the ugly truth of how often assaults occur and how rarely victims see justice. The Department of Defense is actively implementing procedures and outreaches to better the climate. Plenty is being done but with an issue that has consequences as severe as presented, the Department of Defense could be doing more. Change is inevitable and embraced in the DoD, perhaps the change needed to resolve the issue will be found and future generations of service members can move on to new issues. While I didn’t get to stay in service long enough to see the change of a uniform, I could only hope to live long enough to see a change in the system.  

The Grey Rhino Shits: Project Information

Housing Resources for Greenville/ Spartanburg SC

Sources 

“2021 Veterans Disability Compensation Rates.” Veterans Affairs, 15 July 2021, https://www.va.gov/disability/compensation-rates/veteran-rates/. 

Used to show compensation rates for disabled veterans.  

Anonymous. Personal interview, 3 November 2021. 

“The Criminal Justice System: Statistics.” RAINN, 

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system. Accessed 25 Nov. 2021. 

This source shows statistics on reporting. This shows that an average of 2 of 3 sexual 

assault cases go unreported. 

Duplantis, Brenda. “Facts on Military Sexual Trauma and Statistics.” Hill & Ponton, P.A., 18 Sept. 2020, https://www.hillandponton.com/facts-on-military-sexual-trauma-and-statistics/#More_Facts_on_Military_Sexual_Assault. 

Used to show the how MST victims are suffering through statististical likelihood of facing various hardships. 

International, Michael Planty, Ph. D. ,. and Lynn Langton, Ph. D. ,. BJS 

Statisticians, Christopher Krebs, Ph. D. ,. Marcus Berzofsky, Dr. P. H. ,. and Hope Smiley-McDonald, Ph. D. ,. RTI. “Female Victims of Sexual Violence, 1994-2010.” U.S. Department of Justice Office of Justice Programs Bureau of Justice Statistics, Mar. 2013. 

The original source of the opening statement “9 out of 10 victims of rape are female veterans”. 

“Military Sexual Trauma.” Mentalhealth.va.Gov, United States Department of Veterans Affairs, Apr. 2021, www.mentalhealth.va.gov/docs/mst_general_factsheet.pdf 

This is a brief fact sheet that expounds on military sexual trauma and statistics. I decided to include it in my research due to its up-to-date statistics on individuals who reported assaults during their service time. This study considered individuals who reported to their Veterans Affairs provider and not individuals who are still on active duty reporting to their respective healthcare providers.  

Moyer, M. W. (2021, August 3). ‘A poison in the system’: The epidemic of military sexual assault. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/03/magazine/military-sexual-assault.html 

A article from the NYT that offers insightful input from a few victims of MST. This article also 

discusses the nature of MST in the military and how the issue has impacted female 

veterans.  

Restricted reporting. (n.d.). United States Department of Defense Sexual Assault Prevention and Response. Retrieved November 19, 2021, from https://sapr.mil/restricted-reporting 

Taken into consideration but not included in the final essay. 

Rose, Lisa. “Sexual Consent Is a Worldwide Conversation.” CNN, 4 Apr. 2018, https://www.cnn.com/2018/04/04/world/consent-christiane-amanpour-sex-love-around-world/index.html. 

Used to define affirmatives consent. This is not the original article I read discussing Germany’s stance on yes means yes, but Germany was listed among the nations enacting consent education reform. 

Sexual Assault Prevention and Response, United States Department of Defense. 

“Appendix A Additional Accomplishments, Activities, and Outreach.” Sapr.Mil, The Department of Defense, 13 May 2021, https://www.sapr.mil/sites/default/files/Appendix_A_Additional_Accomplishments_Activities_and_Outreach_FY2020.pdf. 

This is part of an annual fiscal year report completed by the department of defense that was presented to congress. This study goes into detail about the nature of sexual assaults reported within the armed forces. This section was used to show sexual assault preventions and resources available for victims.  

Sexual Assault Prevention and Response, United States Department of Defense. 

“Appendix B Statistical Data on Sexual Assault FY2020.” Sapr.Mil, The Department of Defense, 13 May 2021, https://www.sapr.mil/sites/default/files/Appendix_B_Statistical_Data_On_Sexual_Assault_FY2020.pdf. 

This is part of an annual fiscal year report completed by the department of defense that was presented to congress. This study goes into detail about the nature of sexual assaults reported within the armed forces. This section was frequently referenced for numerical reports on sexual assault.  

Sexual Assault Prevention and Response, United States Department of Defense. 

“DoD Annual Report on Sexual Assault in the Military.” Sapr.Mil, The Department of Defense, 13 May 2021, file:///C:/Users/holli/Downloads/DOD_Annual_Report_on_Sexual_Assault_in_the_Military_FY2020%20(2).pdf. 

This is part of an annual fiscal year report completed by the department of defense that was presented to congress. This study goes into detail about the nature of sexual assaults reported within the armed forces. This section was used to provide information on why a FY20 prevalence study could not be completed. This section also provides information on the CATCH program. This program was not included in the final essay but it was taken into consideration. 

Thornhill, R., & Palmer, C. (2000, January). Why men rape by Randy Thornhill and Craig T. Palmer. Https://Www.Csus.Edu/Inspan/m/Merlinos/Thornhill.Html; The New York Academy of Sciences. https://www.csus.edu/inspan/m/merlinos/thornhill.html 

This source was not used in the final essay but was taken into consideration. 

U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. “Women’s Health.” VA.Gov, 2020, https://www.research.va.gov/topics/womens_health.cfm#research6. 

Used to further discuss hardships faced by MST victims.  

U.S. military demographics. (n.d.). America’s Promise. Retrieved November 18, 2021, from https://www.americaspromise.org/us-military-demographics 

This source includes the demographics of active duty personnel. Used to find the number of women in active duty service.  

Veterans Benefits Administration, U. S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Disability Compensation for Conditions Related to Military Sexual Trauma (MST). Aug. 2021. benefits.va.gov. 

This is a brief guide to the compensation offered to individuals who seek to obtain financial restitution for their trauma. This article offers proof that the VA works with veterans to offer help after discharge from service for those who suffered military sexual trauma. This article also briefly expounds on the nature of causes and symptoms of MST. 

Women’s health. (n.d.-b). U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs. Retrieved November 19, 2021, from https://www.research.va.gov/topics/womens_health.cfm#research6 

This information, published by the V.A., was used to show PTSD rates in women.